Written/Produced/Performed by Kai Straw


Written in 2010, then rewritten as Apotheosis.

I just wanna leave so far
Retreat from tomorrow
Escape in the sunset or bleed through a bar
Drink 'till I bleed alcohol, 'till these people evolve
and accept who I are 'cause
I'm done with this town, and I'm through with these chicks
And I'm tired of my brain acting dumb when I'm lit
I'm just done with it
I tried to run with it, good riddance
Dumb shit is gone with the wind, ya'll just pretend
That life doesn't end but it does
So I wanna find wealth and I wanna find love
And I'm just bein' honest
I'm too modest to write sonnets
to a chick that'll probably leave me 'fore the song ends
So I'ma run from the place I was raised in
Even if it's couches to benches to basements
I wanna see the world. I wanna see my girl
'Cause right now I only see 'em when I'm dreamin' of 'em

Life is too short
Like this newport
I guess I'll keep drinkin' like a bottle to a newborn
'Cause I'm trapped in and stuck in this fuckin'
rut in my life that I'm done with, fuck this
I'm hurt but I'm proud so I'm limpin' up mountains
Runnin' from a town and the bitches it's impounded
You fuckin' doubted, so I hope you know now that
I'm leavin' for the truth and you've never been about that
So fuck you, cement shoes, let go of me
glue can't hold me, and you can't mold me
with your fake shit. You're dolls with plastic eyeballs
lookin' down on me, like your sick and appalled
So I'm out bitch
Quicker than a spark from an outlet
and your thoughts can never bring me down again
I guess I just want success to prove somethin'
But they tell me I'll forget about life on the pursuit of it

I wanna be free so bad I've
Never been the bad guy
Good hearts get squat, seen it in my dad's eye
Should I be he, or leave good deeds
with the breeze, and become something pleasing to fees
'cause I'm pleading every night to be somethin' bigger than
the current situation that I'm livin' in
So if my dividends and dreams don't occur to me
Does that mean my happiness is based on my currency?
And how is - that true, you've never been poor?
If money buys a house, than money buys joy
My parents cryin' over what they can't provide us
So I've decided to get money so our kin can finally
not be shamed to sit beside us
So I'ma push 'till my sanity's questioned
'till I can't speak 'cause my damn breath's done
I'm invested 'till my damn trip to the morgue
'Cause I'd rather die young and tried than live poor


from To Pearl Whitney, From Howland Grouse In Loathing, released September 6, 2012



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