Written & Performed by Kai Straw


Through the twisted metal I saw her drenched in blood in the passenger seat
I wouldn't let myself think she was already gone, she couldn't be
Her soul was the sweetest of all I'd ever met
And to end it with death seemed sacrilegious
For the most tender of any heart to be ended with a car
seemed unfair in a way that deserved curses to God
My God
I saw her breath, shallow
her chest moving upward then down
like the gallows when dropping
the innocent, allowed
by a justice broken like
boulders to elbows
I reached
Across the passenger seat
To hold her in some way
Or touch her at least
But it seemed with every attempt by me
her distance grew like a stretching eternity
My arm was stuck
crushed between the steering wheel
and the mangled frame
I would have stayed still
But on the freeway
cars flashed by
like bulbs
So I broke my arm, pulled
Until I could grab the match to my soul
and pull her to safety on one side of the road
And I had her
For a moment I had her
You're still perfect, my love
Even when broken, I thought

It was then
that a four door sudan
slammed into my overturned car and it went
spinning and rolling some more
so I'm told
And with it, my life and my home
my love and her soul
From me, that sweet beautiful girl
my love, my angel turned cold, a corpse
gone, gone, and me? In a coma
for three months

I awoke with that image of reaching across my sunroof to grab her arm
And was told she'd passed a moment after that
When struck by another car

I asked for a picture to prove it
And they denied, denied, then finally I
convinced a nurse show me

And there she was
The love of mine
I barely recognized her
Mangled by, and torn like,
my car's twisted iron

I demanded it be a sick joke
and said the woman I love would take me home
But I was told, again and again

The woman you love is dead
The woman I love is dead

I loved you until the end
And now, I'll cherish where we've been
I won't have tortured thoughts of where we could've gone
Because now

I accept it

Goodbye, goodbye
Sweet love of mine
Until we meet again
I'm sure of all the angels
You'll become the prettiest

Unless you raise from death
I wish you the best


from To Pearl Whitney, From Howland Grouse In Loathing, released September 6, 2012



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Kai Straw San Francisco, California

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